On this day six years ago when I was 11 my mom passed away. It’s been a crazy six years but you wouldn’t imagine what I have gained through this experience. First off, I learned about life early on and I thank what happened every day for it. Early on I had a grasp of how life worked and how easy it could change. Looking around I felt bad when I would watch people go through tough experiences because I knew what it was like. But I also knew that things would turn out okay and they would become a stronger, wiser person.
After moms passing I always felt pressured to go to her grave. I felt that if I didn’t go to her grave it would somehow come off as I didn’t care about my mom. I went to please my family and to show that I did miss her. On the inside though, I knew sitting at the grave wouldn’t make me feel any closer to my mom.
In my eyes, I always felt like your deceased loved ones probably don’t just sit at a grave all day. If there was such thing as life after death don’t you also feel like they would be out doing things? or out seeing people? out visiting you?
I was never upset when I didn’t go to her grave because I always firmly believed she was with me in spirit wherever I went. She was my parent for goodness sake I knew she would rather watch her kid grow up then sit at a grave all day.
Here is where the letter begins.
Dear Lady at the Grave,
Today I set out to go spend the night with my friends. This particular friend lives right behind my mom’s grave. I never planned to stop there I just planned to get straight to so-and-so’s.
In the past I have gone to her grave on occasions just to clear my mind. It was easy to be outside in nature and alone just to speak aloud to my mom and update her with how my life was going. It was somewhere private we could be together to talk. So I decided to just go for a little bit and tell he what’s been up.
When I pulled up I walked straight to her grave and sat on top of it. Her headstone was a decent size and I always perched myself on top of it.
As I was sitting there and talking, a truck pulled up with a man in it. He stepped out with some flowers in his hand and went about his business on the other side of the grave yard. We never exchanged looks or waved we just carried on with our own things. And then you pulled up in your car.
I noticed you looking around and I instantly had the urge to say hello but I dismissed it and continued to do my thing. You started walking over to me and we greeted and began to talk about life, death, family, school, etc. You explained that you were seeing your husband and I told you I was seeing my mom. Our little meeting was the highlight of my night and I talked about it to my dad when I got home.
Maybe about like a week later I was sitting in the cafeteria at school when the superintendent approached me. He had a piece of paper in his hand and a piece of a news paper. He explained how he received a letter from you talking about our little meeting at the grave and how much you enjoyed talking to me. Enclosed with the letter was a part of the newspaper that had my biography in it for the columns I write. I remembered telling you that I didn’t receive the paper because I didn’t live in that district and how I wished I could get it so I could show my family.
I was absolutely speechless when I saw that you went out of your way and got that article to me.
About a month later when my first real article was published I received a letter in the mail from you. enclosed was my article and another letter telling me to keep up the good work. I had my dad take the newspaper clipping to my grandma so she could have it.
I am extremely thankful that I decided to stop at the grave that day and I am extremely thankful that I was able to meet such a kind person. I will treasure this small meeting for the rest of my life.
Once again, thank you. I will never think twice about going out to the grave again.
I wish you and the family my best,
And to others, life is a rocky road, but it is a beautiful one. Instead of complaining about the bumps and continuing to drive, just get out of the car for a little bit, sit outside, and breathe. Enjoy the view, thank God that you are able to take those breaths, and then get back in the car and carry on with your adventure in life. You never know what might happen when you step out of that car for a little bit.