On this day six years ago when I was 11 my mom passed away. It’s been a crazy six years but you wouldn’t imagine what I have gained through this experience. First off, I learned about life early on and I thank what happened every day for it. Early on I had a grasp of how life worked and how easy it could change. Looking around I felt bad when I would watch people go through tough experiences because I knew what it was like. But I also knew that things would turn out okay and they would become a stronger, wiser person.

After moms passing I always felt pressured to go to her grave. I felt that if I didn’t go to her grave it would somehow come off as I didn’t care about my mom. I went to please my family and to show that I did miss her. On the inside though, I knew sitting at the grave wouldn’t make me feel any closer to my mom.

In my eyes, I always felt like your deceased loved ones probably don’t just sit at a grave all day. If there was such thing as life after death don’t you also feel like they would be out doing things? or out seeing people? out visiting you?

I was never upset when I didn’t go to her grave because I always firmly believed she was with me in spirit wherever I went. She was my parent for goodness sake I knew she would rather watch her kid grow up then sit at a grave all day.

Here is where the letter begins.

Dear Lady at the Grave,

Today I set out to go spend the night with my friends. This particular friend lives right behind my mom’s grave. I never planned to stop there I just planned to get straight to so-and-so’s.

In the past I have gone to her grave on occasions just to clear my mind. It was easy to be outside in nature and alone just to speak aloud to my mom and update her with how my life was going. It was somewhere private we could be together to talk. So I decided to just go for a little bit and tell he what’s been up.

When I pulled up I walked straight to her grave and sat on top of it. Her headstone was a decent size and I always perched myself on top of it.

As I was sitting there and talking, a truck pulled up with a man in it. He stepped out with some flowers in his hand and went about his business on the other side of the grave yard. We never exchanged looks or waved we just carried on with our own things. And then you pulled up in your car.

I noticed you looking around and I instantly had the urge to say hello but I dismissed it and continued to do my thing. You started walking over to me and we greeted and began to talk about life, death, family, school, etc. You explained that you were seeing your husband and I told you I was seeing my mom. Our little meeting was the highlight of my night and I talked about it to my dad when I got home.

Maybe about like a week later I was sitting in the cafeteria at school when the superintendent approached me. He had a piece of paper in his hand and a piece of a news paper. He explained how he received a letter from you talking about our little meeting at the grave and how much you enjoyed talking to me. Enclosed with the letter was a part of the newspaper that had my biography in it for the columns I write. I remembered telling you that I didn’t receive the paper because I didn’t live in that district and how I wished I could get it so I could show my family.

I was absolutely speechless when I saw that you went out of your way and got that article to me.

About a month later when my first real article was published I received a letter in the mail from you. enclosed was my article and another letter telling me to keep up the good work. I had my dad take the newspaper clipping to my grandma so she could have it.

I am extremely thankful that I decided to stop at the grave that day and I am extremely thankful that I was able to meet such a kind person. I will treasure this small meeting for the rest of my life.

Once again, thank you. I will never think twice about going out to the grave again.

I wish you and the family my best,

-Halle

And to others, life is a rocky road, but it is a beautiful one. Instead of complaining about the bumps and continuing to drive, just get out of the car for a little bit, sit outside, and breathe. Enjoy the view, thank God that you are able to take those breaths, and then get back in the car and carry on with your adventure in life. You never know what might happen when you step out of that car for a little bit.

10 thoughts on “AN OPEN LETTER TO THE LADY AT THE GRAVE

  1. Wow, again, you are such a wonderful writer and young woman. As a mom of three daughters and a son, I can say for sure that your mom is with you and is very proud of you! I am proud of you as well. I remember vividly when my mom passed away, I was an adult with teenage children and I know how hard it was for me at 40 to deal with that loss, I can’t imagine how hard it has been for you losing your mom as such a young age… you are a real tribute to your mom, she did a wonderful job in her short time with you to raise a magnificent daughter! Not even death can stop a mother’s love… I love your blog and will continue reading! my love to you, Michelle

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  2. You are quite a gifted writer and amazing young lady. You have far more wisdom than years and I’m sure your mother is with you marveling at the woman you are becoming. Keep writing, it is definitely your gift. You’ve reminded me to stop a little, and take time to get out of the car.

    When my father passed away it took me over a year to go to his grave site. I never wanted to go there. But, on a visit back home a couple of years later, I went with my mother and we were followed by this dragonfly. We joked about it then but since that time a solitary dragonfly often visits me. I had one such visit today. 🙂

    I look forward to the amazing things you will write in the future. I have no doubt your mother is quite proud of you.

    B Blessed!

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    1. I am speechless by your comment and I don’t think I can fully explain to you how much that meant to me. I sincerely appreciated hearing what you had to say and it meant the world to me. Also in regards to the dragonfly, I definitely believe it was your dad. Don’t ever doubt your gut telling you it could be a sign. Enjoy your day and thank you so much

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  3. Halle your mom must be so very proud. Your beautiful in every way and your words truly show it. You remind me so much of her with your adventurous spirit and open mind. I love you and can’t wait to read more !

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  4. You are a true gem and I know your Mom is watching you, and wanting you to continue this journey you have started. You are a future journalist and I cant wait to continue on this journey with you to see where your writing takes you. Awesome article, and life is all around you and there are many more articles to be written by you. Keep up the good work.

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  5. Your words are so beautiful.

    A year after her death, I felt your Mom’s presence with me. I was in California for the first time, and I was about 2 hours from the Pacific Ocean. I’d never seen that ocean, and I felt drawn to it for some reason. It was a pain to drive, but I felt like I needed to go there. I watched the waves crash into the beach as a storm was rolling in over the Pacific Ocean. It was cold and chilly, but I marveled at the scenery.

    I think you’re right. Our loved ones spend time exploring and adventuring, as they look over us. In that moment, I heard her in the crashing waves and storm, tell me that now I can see her anywhere that I see beauty and adventure. She’s never far off.

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  6. So very true. You never know what’s there for the taking. You are a jewel young lady! A wonderful strong being. I am in all when I read the words that flow from your thoughts and experiences. Please keep writing. I’m so hungry for more. Your amazing ! Love, Pnuts Grandma

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