The obvious truth to life, and one that everyone already knows, is that you will deal with a loss someday. The loss of a friend, pet, or loved one. Whether they physically pass, or metaphorically pass, it was happen to you eventually. But how obvious of a truth is that?
It is human nature for people to pass on, or to move on, and we all are aware of that. But, it is also human nature to have the notion that it will never happen to us.
The first step to understanding life is to accept that bad things happen to people, even good people. After you grasp that idea, it is natural to then just dismiss the situation. We almost stop thinking about it the minute we acknowledge it without putting ourselves in scenario.
The second step is to accept that we are one of those people, even if we are a good person. But we can not get depressed with that statement, but instead use it as a tool to get the most out of our life as we possibly can.
I remember when I was young I understood early on that bad things happen to good people. I almost thought I was above everyone else because I had a higher understanding than most kids my age. But never in that time did I think I could become one of those people.
My moms passing was a learning process for me. It helped me develop as a person in ways that nothing else could. It gave me the gift of understanding that although bad things do happen to other people, I am not above the tragedies.
In psychology you learn about the bystander effect and how during a tragic moment that is being witnessed by hundreds of people, little to no action is taken. This is because every person standing there has the idea in their head that someone else will step in, someone else will call the police, someone else will deal with it. This is a similar concept.
Unfortunately, it is very hard for me to word this in a way that makes sense. You start out in life assuming that someone else will take the blow, someone else will deal with the tragedy. But you never throw yourself into that pool. Instead, you stand on the edge and look into the water of people dealing with hardships and pray that you don’t get pushed in.
The one thing we cannot do, however, is live a life in fear of losing someone. After my dad had his stroke back in November he has changed. He is doing well, and I am lucky, but his personality is almost completely different. And some days it feels like my dad might as well have passed away and had been replaced with a clone. I found myself saying, “Who’s next?”. I had the fear that I was going to experience a death of my cat, a loss of another family member, or a friendship that would become out of touch with the start of college.
Something I’ve talked about before in an article is that fear is good. Because fear is an opportunity to change your life. Instead of going to through life with a bad outlook, I can start making the most of the relationships I do have. Instead of refusing to get close to anyone out of fear of losing them, you should make it a must to get as close to them as you can, learn as much as you can about them, and create as many memories as you can with them.
Because when you push people away, you carry nothing with you. But when you take the time for everyone in your life, you have the gift of carrying those memories forever. Life should never be scary, and you should never fear what is next. But instead love your life as much as you can and the people who are there with you.
It is okay to acknowledge that you will endure painful moments in life, it is an important lesson to learn, just make sure that you do not let it hinder you from living a life.