I will love myself the way I want someone to love me.
Say it again, maybe even make it fancy:
I will love myself in such a way that I would like another being to love me.
And if it still doesn’t click, continue to read it, but I am not going to type it another time because it is 8:41 am and I need to leave for school at 9.
Love for another person is something anyone has felt since the day they were born. Even as an infant, you develop a love for your parents. There are so many studies shown where babies completely change at relax at the voice or touch of their own mother. It’s just instinct.
And then you turn 6 or 7 and you might find a boy at school that you absolutely love with a fiery burning passion like myself. I kissed that boy on his forehead one day without warning him thinking he would like it… he didn’t. But that’s okay he didn’t deserve my little know-it-all-annoying-6-year-old-ass anyways.
And then you hit junior high. And suddenly EVERYONE is loving someone else.
“Did you hear that THEY are dating?” “I can’t believe she would date someone like that”
Junior high is just a bad time for dating. 1) you’re still a kid and 2) junior high kids are jerks.
But where through all of this, has anyone made it pleasing to love themselves? not once in junior high did I ever hear my friend say during one of my tangents about a boy I have a crush on: “Hey, Hal, why don’t you learn to love yourself first? you know, so you have an idea on how you would want someone else to love and treat you?”
And then high school hit and I met Anthony and we have been pretty solid since we first met. Yeah we have out ups an downs and yeah I constantly say, “Anthony why are you being a piss-ass? But it’s pretty steady. But I never asked him, “Ant? Did you learn to love yourself before you let me love you? So you would know what kind of treatment you should expect from me in case I’m giving you something less than best?”
No. No I did not.
But thats because we aren’t taught that way. When your mom was showing you pictures of objects on cards she never showed you your own heart and said “This is you loving yourself”. We just aren’t wired to think that way and that’s not a bad thing. Its a pretty mature concept to grasp anyways. I wouldn’t expect my junior high friend to tell me that. I wouldn’t expect my little cousin to come over to my house and tell me that she knows how it feels to love herself.
It’s a journey. If you have an urge to soul search then this is step mother-f*cking ONE. Taking time to yourself to learn a little about yourself isn’t a crime. No one will judge you, in fact you might inspire others to follow suit. Just don’t be an ass about it. If someone approaches you, don’t shove your hand in their face and go “sh! I am learning to love myself first. You may walk away now”. You can do this process in multiple different ways.
I am learning to love myself when I am in the act of writing these articles. It is roughly 20 minutes of complete silence and what is fascinating to me is as I am typing this, I am physically getting to see my thoughts. I am physically getting to see my tone of voice, what kind of humor I possess, and who I really am when no one is around to see these thoughts being formed. I love it!
Anything you do in life, you can find a way to love yourself through it. Basically you’ve just gotta get creative. And it doesn’t matter how old you are! if you are 92 years old right now and reading this, don’t think, “damn I really missed out on an amazing opportunity for myself”. Just start today, start now. It’s a process, and it’s okay if you aren’t 18 like me and learning this.
I must give creds to my grandma though.
Grandma Gula, you are an AMAZING woman. I have never looked up to someone in the way I look up to you. Your strength astonishes me and I can’t thank you enough for saying to me over the phone the other day, “I am going to love myself the way I want you to love me”. It has changed my life for the better and know your favorite quote out of that Katy Perry song can change the lives of others as well. You are an inspiring grandmother!